If You Believe
by Pixie6
Summary: Jamie and Landon are married. They're living as normal a life as they can considering Jamie's condition, but the plan they thought God had for them, takes an unexpected turn..
1. Chapter One

I stood there with a smile on my face. A glowing smile I could have sworn went from one ear to another. Jamie looked so beautfil. She was wearing a long white wedding dress, that hung down past her feet, and a gorgeous white veil, that flowed down over her silky brown hair, and over her back. She looked just like an angel.. and I couldn't think of a better word that could fit her. She walked slowly towards me, and all the while I could her her whispering to me.. "Landon, Laaandon.."..  
  
My eyes fluttered open, and I quickly squinched them as I opened them for a mid second to the bright shining sun. Jamie was snuggled behind me, with her arms around me, and she was lightly whispering in my ear, "Laaandon." I smiled and quickly rolled over to face her, and englufed her in my arms. She smiled as well, and gently kissed my lips as she wrapped her arms tightly around me, and snuggled her head down on my pillow.   
  
"I thought you would never wake up" she said with a soft smile.   
  
I smirked and replied, "I was dreaming of you. Those aren't the kind of dreams you want to wake up from.. I had almost forgot that you were just inches from my grasp."   
  
Jamie laughed, and leaned towards me, placing a small kiss against my forhead.   
  
"Shall I go downstairs and make us breakfast?"   
  
Jamie smiled at my offer and said "Sure. I'm going to go take a bath, and I'll be down in fiteen minutes, okay?"  
  
I nodded, and as Jamie began getting out of bed, she noticed that I was keeping my hold on her. She laughed, and looked at me as I grinned.  
  
"Landon, I thought I was going to go take a bath?"   
  
I tried killing my grin as I replied, "You are, aren't you?"  
  
"How do you expect me to take a bath if you won't let go of me?"  
  
"Let go of you...? Hey! That wasn't in the plan!"  
  
Jamie laughed, and kissed me once more and gave me the most adorable smile, "The sooner I take my bath, and the sooner we eat breakfast, the sooner we have the WHOLE day to eachother."   
  
I smiled, and said, "Well, what are we waiting for??" and I quickly jumped up from bed, and ran downstairs to make breakfast.  
  
As I was downstairs taking some eggs out of the fridge, and getting the frying pan ready, I could hear Jamie drawing her bath, and I smiled as I played last night through my mind...  
  
Jamie and I. As close as we could be. Expressing our love to one another in the deepest physical way. Yes, last night, our wedding night, Jamie and I made love.  
  
It, surprisingly, wasn't something that I had actually thought of until it really happened. The wedding reception was great, and Jamie had whispered to me while we were dancing that she hadn't felt this good since the play. I was glad to know that she was feeling so well, but it would have been fine either way, even if she had felt sick. I would have just held her all night, and watched her sleep. It never really mattered what Jamie and I did together, but it was the simple fact that we were together.. all I wanted was to be with her.  
  
The time came though, when we were sitting in the limosine. I had Jamie tucked into my side, and she looked up at me and smiled.  
  
"I can't wait to show you how much I love you Landon."  
  
It surprised me that this was actually something Jamie was looking forward to.. but that was Jamie; always surprising me.  
  
I smiled as well, and gently kissed her forhead, and she snuggled back into my arms.  
  
About five minutes we had been driving from the church, and the limo stopped, and parked. Jamie really didn't know where we were going after the reception.. but I had a surprise in store for her.  
  
My parents, and Jamie's dad all chipped in, and bought Jamie and I our own little house. My mother told me about it a few days ago, because she needed my help decorating it, and I was so anxious to surpise Jamie.  
  
Jamie deffinetly was surprised.. she actually started crying when we went inside. She badly wanted to call my parents and thank them for all they did, but I told her that this was our night.. and it wouldn't be awful for us to wait until tomorrow.  
  
Jamie and I had a magical night. Things went very slowly, and she had to keep reassuring me that she was okay, but it was a beautiful experience that neither of us will ever regret it. Jamie and I truly became one, and my head swims just now with the rememberance of what a wonderful night it was. It was a one and only time though.. and Jamie and I both knew this. As much as I hate thinking it, Jamie is going to leave me soon.. and I don't want to do anything that could cause her poor health, or... her leaving me sooner.  
  
"Goooodmorning" Jamie whispered into my ear, as she wrapped her arms around my waist, and placed a small kiss between my shoulder blades.  
  
I immediately turned around to face her, and gathered her into my arms.  
  
"Why hello again angel" I said with a beaming smile.  
  
"Is breakfast ready?" she asked.  
  
"Almost. But this beautiful woman is standing in the kitchen distracting me..." I smirked.  
  
Jamie laughed, and kissed my lips softly, and then went to set the table as I finished pouring out two glasses of orange juice.  
Jamie and I sat down and ate breakfast together, and did so every morning after. We would joke and laugh, and make plans for what we wanted to do for the rest of the day.   
  
Jamie had a doctors appointment every Wednesday, and on our way home, we would stop by my mother's house for dinner. In the evenings we would sometimes watch TV, and other times, we would just sit and read the bible. As much as Jamie loved her bible, she said it was even more special to her when she read it with someone she loved.  
  
Our life together became a wonderful routine. I would say we were living a normal life, but normal is a word I could never use for the time I spend with Jamie. I made sure that each day was special for Jamie, and Jamie in turn did the same for me, although she didn't need to try.   
  
One Wednesday after Jamie's doctor appointment, Jamie told me she didn't feel up to going to my mother's for dinner..  
  
"Jamie, what's wrong?"  
  
Jamie turned to me and placed her hand on mine, and said "I'm just tired.. that's all"  
  
"Baby, don't worry about it. I'll just call my mom when we get home. She'll understand" I smiled at her reassuringly.  
  
Jamie then layed her head on my shoulder, and tucked herself against my side as we drove home in silence. Jamie had been feeling so good these last few weeks.. it really worried me how she had started feeling bad all of a sudden.  
  
Jamie fell asleep against me on the way home, and so I ever so gently lifted her into my arms, and brought her into the house. I carried her upstairs, and layed her down on our bed, and sat beside her gently petting her head, as her eyes fluttered open.  
  
"Landon..?" she said  
  
I grasped her hand into mine, and gave it a slight squeeze and reassured her.  
  
"Yes baby, it's me."  
  
Then all of a sudden Jamie started to cry...  
  
"Landon, what are we going to do?"  
  
I was really worried by then, and I crouched down beside the bed, and cradled her face in my hands.  
  
"Baby, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"  
  
The tears just kept streaming down her face, and her voice was so shakey, she could hardly answer me..  
  
"Landon... I'm pregnant." 


	2. Chapter Two

Landon... I'm pregnant.. I'm pregnant.. pregnant..  
  
I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. I had heard her loud and clear, but for some reason I felt the need to question..  
  
"You're pregnant..?"  
  
Jamie let out her second response with a sob.  
  
"I'm pregnant Landon."  
  
I couldn't stand seeing her cry like this, so I sat on the edge of the bed, and gathered her into my arms, and I held her tightly against me as she cried. I gently rocked her back and forth in my arms, and whispered against her hair  
  
"Sssshhh.. baby, it's okay, ssh"  
  
I just held her against me until she had calmed down a bit. She pulled slightly from my arms, and left her hands clutching my shoulders, as she looked up at me with a tear streaked face. She looked at me as if she wanted to say something, but she was holding back.. I think she would have started crying again had she tried to speak. I cradled her face in my hands, and lightly wiped the tears from her cheeks, and placed a gentle kiss against her forhead.  
  
"Baby, everything is going to be okay, alright?"  
  
I kissed her softly and placed my forhead to hers  
  
"I promise you Jamie.. everything is going to be alright."  
  
Then, at that moment, Jamie exploded, and said what I think she was holding back..  
  
"Everything is NOT going to be okay Landon! I'm dying."  
  
I hated to hear those words come from Jamie.. I tried my hardest to hold onto her, to believe that if I loved her enough.. God couldn't take her from me. It hurt so much to hear Jamie just say those words so bluntly... I slowly took my eyes off of her and looked down, trying to hold back the tears.  
  
Jamie lifted my chin up gently with her fingers, and made me look her in the eyes..  
  
"Landon, I'm going to die.. and now...now.."  
  
She began to sob again, and sadly, she didn't have to finish her sentence. I knew what she was going to say. This baby didn't have a good chance of living either. Nobody knew exactly how long Jamie would live, but it would be quite a miracle if she lived longer than eight months. And the affects being pregnant would have on her already fragile health... I had this sickening feeling growing in the pit of my stomach, and I then realised that that night, I was so worried about hurting her.. about putting her in poorer health, and now, I was the reason that Jamie's life would probably be cut shorter.  
  
I couldn't take it. I collapsed into Jamie's arms, and we both sat there holding eachother, and just sobbing together.  
  
After a few minutes of just sitting there, holding Jamie, I realised what I needed to do.. Through all of Jamie's sickness, she was a rock for me. This was my turn to be there for her.  
  
"Jamie?..Jamie?" I asked, as I pulled back slightly from her grasp.  
  
Jamie just looked at me, still not able to speak.  
  
I kissed her cheeks gently, lightly sucking the tears off of her face with my lips. I tried talking myself out of thinking this was so horrible. I tried to be calm, and I just thought to myself, "Jamie's having my baby..". I tried to forget as much as I could about her sickness. Maybe this was the miracle that I was asking for? I looked into Jamie's eyes, and I think she was surprised when she saw my mouth form a smile.  
  
"Jamie, you're pregnant."  
  
I leaned in and ever so gently pressed my lips to her forhead, and I whispered something I knew would reassure her..  
  
"This is the Lord's plan for us. How can that make you sad?"  
  
Then, Jamie finally spoke.  
  
"I'm so scared Landon. I was never exactly okay with the thought of dying.. but, it was something I accepted, and something I could handle. Oh Landon.."  
  
tears started dripping down Jamie's face once again.  
  
"Landon... I can't handle the thought of taking our baby away from you."  
  
"Oh baby.. We don't know what's going to happen. You promised me you'd always be with me Jamie, maybe this is God's way of making sure I know that you are."  
  
I took Jamie into my arms once again, and I rocked her back and forth slowly, as I repeatedly kissed her head.  
  
"Everything is going to be okay Jamie.. I promise you."  
  
Jamie said nothing, but I heard her sigh, and it sounded like she was relieved. She really did trust in me. And I think she trusted that I would never lie to her, and that I would do everything in my power to keep our little family safe.  
  
I then smiled to myself.  
  
Our little family... 


	3. Chapter Three

Jamie and I sat in bed talking for over an hour. We talked about everything imaginable concerning the baby, and Jamie's health. I didn't want to sound like a terrible person, but it was really Jamie's health that concerned me most, and as much as I tried to get rid of the feeling.. I still felt guilty for getting Jamie pregnant. For possibly cutting Jamie's life short, and I knew that the rest of her life would now be much more difficult for her. The more I thought about it, the more the overwhelming, sickening feeling of guilt overtook me. Just an hour ago, I was the one reassuring Jamie everything was alright.. and now, I wasn't even convinced. Jamie had faith though. As scared as she was, her faith overpowered any bit of fear in her, and she returned to my happy, optimistic Jamie.  
  
Our conversation turned lighter, and I even had Jamie laughing a bit. But, we were suddenly interrupted by the sound of the phone..  
  
I leaned in and kissed Jamie gently on the forhead. "I'll be right back." and she smiled.  
  
I walked across the room to answer the phone.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Landon, are you okay?" Asked a worried voice.  
  
I then remembered.. Jamie and I had been so involved with the current situation that we had forgotten to call my mother and tell her we weren't coming for dinner.  
  
"Landon? Is everything alright??"  
  
"Yeah mom.. We're really sorry. Umm.." I decided now wasn't the time to tell my mother what was going on. "Jamie was just tired mom, that's all. I thought it best that I bring her home so she could get some rest. We were both really tired actually.. I guess we just forgot. We're both really sorry."  
  
My mother was a great woman. She wasn't upset. She was just glad that everything was okay.. or at least that's what I had lead her to believe.  
  
"No mom, that's alright.. Jamie's fine.. Yes mom, I'm sure.. Yes.. yes.."  
  
I looked at Jamie and rolled my eyes jokingly. My mother was such a worrier.  
  
"Hey mom?" I couldn't tell her now, but I knew that we had to tell her soon.  
  
"How about you come over tomorrow afternoon for lunch? To make up for missing today... Alright mom... No, you don't have to bring anything... Uh huh... Okay mom... Yeah, I'll tell her... I love you too mom. Bye.. *click*"  
  
I walked back over to Jamie, and sat beside her.  
  
"My mom sends her love."  
  
Jamie smiled, "I really love your mom."  
  
"Yeah.. she's great."  
  
"How do you think she's going to feel about this?" Jamie asked, and I could sense some nervousness in her voice..  
  
I let out a sigh, and shrugged my shoulders, "I'm not actually sure."  
  
I looked at Jamie after fiddling with my fingers a bit, and asked, "What do you think your father's going to think about this..?"  
  
I didn't even really need to ask. Most father's-in-law aren't usually too thrilled about their little girl getting pregnant. And with Jamie's condition on top of everything... Oh, I certainly wasn't going to be winning Son-in-law of the year award this year.  
  
Jamie just looked down as I had done when she asked me about my mother. We both knew her father probably wasn't going to take this well, but we had to tell him...  
  
"Oh Landon.. He isn't going to like this." she said with sadness in her voice.  
  
I took Jamie's hands into mine, and squeezed them gently, and coaxed her face slightly, to look at me.  
  
"Jamie, I love you. We're going to get through this.. I promise you baby, I will make sure that everything is alright."  
  
Jamie smiled slightly, with tears in her eyes, and whispered.. "Oh I love you Landon. So much."  
  
I kissed Jamie softly, and rested my forhead against hers. I knew we were going to get through this...  
  
The next day was beautiful. The sun, the trees, the view of the water from our bedroom window.. It was all so beautiful. I don't think we could have asked for a nicer summer day. We decided that we would have lunch outside on the patio. It was deffinetly too nice a day to eat inside.  
Jamie was bringing out a pitcher of iced tea, when we heard my mother knock on the door.  
  
"I'll get it!" Jamie yelled to me, as I was in the kitchen getting the dishes ready to take outside.  
  
"Hello sweetheart!" my mother greeted Jamie with a hug.  
  
Jamie smiled, "Hello Mrs. Carter, It's so great to see you. Landon is just setting the table outside. We thought it was too beautiful out to eat inside."  
  
My mother smiled and said, "That sounds great. I know Landon told me not to bring anything.. but, I just had so many potatoes, and I thought I would bring you guys some potatoe salad.  
  
Jamie smiled politely and took one of the two big bowls of potatoe salad my mother had made.  
  
"Thank you so much Mrs. Carter."  
  
Jamie then went and set the extra bowl in the fridge to chill, and Jamie and my mother came outside, to a fully set table.  
  
"Oh, wow, everything looks great!" my mother sounded surprised.  
  
My mother not so quietly whispered to Jamie that she had never seen me cook a thing in my life.  
  
"You've certainly changed him Jamie.." my mother smiled and winked at her, and we all had a good laugh.  
  
We then heard another knock at the door, just before Jamie sat down.  
  
"That must be my father.. Landon, I'm feeling a bit tired, would you mind getting it?"  
  
I went over to Jamie, and pushed her chair in, and then kissed her forhead gently, and smiled.  
  
"I'll be right back."  
  
I opened the door, and greeted the reverend with a handshake. "Hello reverend, it's good to see you."  
  
He smiled, and nodded, "It's good to see you too Landon."  
  
"Uh, Jamie and my mom are just sitting out back. Everything is set, so come on in."I then led the Reverend out onto the patio.  
  
"Daddy!" Jamie greeted him with joy. He then walked over and placed a kiss on her head, and asked, "How's my little girl doing?"  
  
"I'm fine daddy" Jamie smiled.  
  
We were finally all gathered together.. Jamie and I had planned on waiting until after lunch, but I just couldn't wait. My palms were starting to sweat, and I was too nervous to eat anything, so I gave Jamie a knowing smile, and took her hand into mine.  
  
"Mom.. Reverend.." I cleared my throat. "There was something Jamie and I wanted to tell you.. and that's why we wanted you both here today." I cleared my throat again, and I think Jamie must have felt the sweat from my hand, or she could just tell.. I was extremely nervous. So she took over from there.  
  
"We went for my doctors appointment yesterday.. and they kept me a bit longer than usual. They did a few extra tests on me, and they found out... that I'm pregnant."  
  
Those words still hit me with the shock that they did the first time Jamie told me. I think this time it was more of a shock that we had just told our parents.. and we were now waiting for them to respond. We must have sat there in silence for about 10 seconds, but for me it seemed like 10 minutes. My mother was the first to speak..  
  
"Oh Landon.. Jamie! That's wonderful." and she burst into a smile.  
  
She then hugged the both of us, while Jamie's dad still just sat there in silence, looking like he was thinking deeply to himself.  
  
Jamie smiled lightly, a bit relieved that my mother was okay with what happened, but I could tell she was waiting for her father to say something.  
  
"Daddy..?"  
  
The Reverend looked up from his feet, and immediately looked at me, then Jamie. He had a hurt look in his eyes, and they were kind of glossy, as if he were about to cry.  
  
"How could this happen? How could you let something like this happen? How.."  
  
He stopped talking, and just looked down.  
  
Jamie looked as if she were about to cry as well, and she just barely began to whisper, "Daddy.."  
  
Then the Reverend slowly got out of his chair, and went inside. I heard the door shut, so I knew he must have been leaving. Jamie then started to cry, and I knew she wanted to go after him, but I just stood beside her chair, and held her. My mother held onto Jamie's hand, and stroked her hair gently, trying to comfort her the best she could.  
  
"Oh Landon.." Jamie sobbed.   
  
I knew that Jamie's father wouldn't be too happy about Jamie being pregnant, but I thought he would understand.. and I didn't think he would just leave like that. But maybe it was best he left, instead of saying something that would hurt Jamie.  
  
I held Jamie against me as she cried, and my mother looked up at me, and I could tell she was shocked as well. My mother was happy for us.. but maybe because she didn't know much of Jamie's condition, and what this may do to her. I was glad my mother was happy about it though. I knew she would support us. I just hope that Jamie's father will too.. 


	4. Chapter Four

I was sitting down stairs in the living room flipping randomly through channels, not really intent on watching anything I came upon, but trying to keep myself from facing what happened earlier this afternoon. Jamie became tired quickly after her father abrubtly left, and my mother and I both thought it be best that we skip our lunch date so that Jamie could go rest. I could hear her tossing and turning from our bedroom, and I decided to go up and see her.  
  
I walked into our small bedroom by just turning right at the top of the stairs. I saw Jamie lying on her side facing me with her eyes open, watching the phone with an intent stare. I knew she was waiting for her father to call, and it broke my heart to see Jamie so distressed. I knew it couldn't be good for the baby either. I walked quietly over to the bed, and sat on the edge by her stomach. Gently caressing my hand down her cheek, I asked..  
  
"Did you get any sleep, baby?"  
  
"Some." Jamie replied wearily, with a sigh.  
  
"Baby... I know your father's reaction this afternoon was, well... shocking, but that's just the way father's are. Protective of their little girls, ya know?" I smiled sincerely at her, trying to wear down her worries.  
"I imagine if we had invited him to lunch to tell him that we were dating, he would have reacted the same way. But we got through that... and this isn't anything we can't get through Jamie. Your father may be a bit stubborn, but he's forgiving, and eventually he's going to see what a great thing this is."  
  
Jamie sighed again, and looked up at me. I was hoping that what I had said made her feel at least a little better, and maybe more hopeful.  
  
"Landon, I just... It hurts to know that my father is disappointed with me. All the time that I was sick, he had rules that at times may have seemed strict, but it was all for my benefit so that I would stay healthy."  
  
Jamie closed her eyes for a moment, taking in a deep breath, perhaps rekindling the sad realization of what this pregnancy was going to do to her health.  
  
I could barely tell her eyes had opened once again, as she simply stared downwards. It broke my heart more and more by the second.  
  
"I just wish he could be supportive..."  
  
I didn't know what to say to her. Jamie always knew the right words to say to cheer me up when I was down, and I felt slightly dissappointed in myself that I was failing at making her feel better. I gathered Jamie up in my arms, and held her closely as she cried silently, but I could tell she was by her breathing pattern. I could always tell when Jamie was crying, and I didn't even have to be in the same room as her.. I didn't even need to be awake. I had awoken to Jamie crying a few times since we'd been husband and wife, and I simply knew by the strange sinking feeling I would feel that would wake me. I could also tell when Jamie was happy, which was one of my favorite feelings in the world. Her smile was always so bright and it radiated such a wonderful energy that I swear anyone near her could feel it. Jamie touched me, and changed me in so many ways that I could simply never begin to explain. The feeling of loving her, and being loved back was like that of a feeling I'd never felt before. Our souls were one. Our hearts were joined, and right now.. both of our hearts were broken.  
  
I held Jamie and comforted her as she cried, and eventually she got tired and layed back down. We both fell asleep together, with my arms wrapped securely around her, one hand pressed against her stomach... our baby.  
  
It was about 8pm when I was awoken by a knocking at the door. I looked over at Jamie beside me, who was still asleep. Jamie wasn't far through her pregnancy at all, but she already started having the appetite of a pregnant woman, so I figured she might have ordered a pizza or something and just fallen back to sleep. It took me a while to get out of bed trying not to wake Jamie, but I finally got downstairs, and answered the door at mid-knock.  
  
I was shocked and speachless when I opened the door, and saw.. Reverend Sullivan. I kind of stuttered, but eventually I got out "H-h-hello Reverend."  
  
He nodded, and then said "I'd like to see my daughter."  
  
I opened the door wider, and invited him in while I went to get Jamie. I didn't tell him she was sleeping, because I knew he would insist that I not wake her, but I know that Jamie would be really upset if I didn't.  
  
"Jamie... Jaaamie.." I shook her gently  
  
"Hmm" she mumbled sleepily.  
  
I gently kissed her cheek, and smiled slightly, "Your father's here. He's downstairs."  
  
Jamie sat up quickly, and I could tell she was still half asleep but trying to grasp being awake.  
  
"What? My father? He's downstairs?" She squinted her eyes a bit, and asked me.  
  
"Mmhmm." I nodded  
  
I laced her fingers with mine, and took her hand leading her off of the bed.  
  
"Come on, let's go see what he wants."  
  
When we got downstairs the Reverend was sitting on the edge of the couch, but he quickly stood as Jamie and I entered the living room. Jamie smiled nervously, but tried desperately to hide it, and greeted him "Hi daddy. I'm glad you came over."  
  
He smiled for about a split second, and then started to clear his throat  
  
"Um, Landon.. Jamie.. I came over here to apologise for my behaviour this afternoon."  
  
"Daddy..." Jamie started to interrupt.  
  
"No Jamie, please let me get this out... Ever since the doctors told me that I was going to lose my baby girl, I became more protective of you. I know I may have seemed strict, but I just didn't want anything to happen to you... I didn't want you to be exposed to the bad things in life. I now realize that times when I thought you were getting yourself into a bad situation, things turned out okay..." the Reverend smiled at us, and we smiled back. He took his glasses off, and sat down again on the couch, and motioned for us to come over to him.  
  
"You're all I've got left Jamie... I just don't want to lose you."  
  
All was quiet for a few seconds. A few seconds that seemed like minutes though. The mood in the room was sad, and uncomfortable, and the reverend I'm sure had pent these thoughts and feelings up for a long time... but right now, he was egar to move on.  
  
He smiled, and placed a hand on Jamie's stomach.  
  
"But now I'm going to have a grandchild. God's made a plan, and this little guy is going to become a part of it" He lightly tickled Jamie's stomach, as she laughed, and I could feel it. Jamie's smile radiated warmth, happiness and beauty, and everything that had happened today slowly vanished from importance, and it was simply the moment. We were starting a family, and the two people who mattered most in our lives were supportive of it. Nothing was saddening at that moment, as we sat in our living room with Jamie's father, and we just enjoyed the lives of expecting parents like any normal couple would. I couldn't tear the smile off of my face, because for once since I learned of Jamie's pregnancy, I honestly believed everything was going to be alright. 


End file.
